Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize