I am in a vortex of obligation.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
