Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
