Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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