Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize