everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
