i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
