Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
