Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
