these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
