After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Let's paint friendship bongs
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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