i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
