Don't you send me to vm
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
