i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
