I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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