I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
