ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
