yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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