Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
