Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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