Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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