and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So vagazzling was a success
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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