She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I love having hate sex.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
