I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
