I heard we made out
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
