just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I checked into jail on foursquare
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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