I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
