So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can't turn off my feet"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
