I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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