I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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