i just wanna soil my oats bro
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
