He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
