But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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