he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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