I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
