You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
