Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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