508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize