This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
