Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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