I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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