Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
