So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
