You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize