North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Be still, my beating vagina.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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