You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
