Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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