Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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