its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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