i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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