I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
