I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
