I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
