Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
