hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
