i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize