and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
