so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
