Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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