I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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