She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
