She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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