Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
