The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
