Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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