Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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