Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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