he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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